I hate failures. I really do. There's nothing I hate more than the realisation that I've failed myself, that I haven't lived up to my own expectations. I don't find myself in this situation very often - I guess I'm lucky that way - but when I do, I find it very difficult to get over the feeling of hopelessness.
It's not easy to accept failure, especially not when things go wrong, especially when you thought you'd tried your best. It's not easy to have the courage to try again. It's very difficult to stop yourself from thinking, "I suck."
When others have failed, you're there for them. You support them, encourage them, and assure them that next time, everything will be perfect. But why is it so difficult to be there for yourself in times of need?
I think it's because that enormous shadow of self-doubt tends to take over all your confidence. You decide to take the easy way out - either you put all the blame on yourself ("Why do I even bother trying? I'm a failure at everything!") or on everybody else ("I know I didn't do anything wrong; it's all their fault!").
Neither approach is right.
You have to understand that it's not just your fault, but you're probably not completely innocent, either. Failure happens because of a lot of reasons, and you need to find out what those reasons are. If you have failed, you probably don't want to face the facts, and I understand that. But someday, you will have to learn from your mistakes.
Failure happens to everybody. There's not a single person out there who's never failed in life. Those who are successful have definitely failed at some point or another, but they kept on trying anyway.
And that's what you have to do.
You need to find out what went wrong and understand how to fix it. Once you figure that out, you have to attempt the same situation again, no matter how difficult it is! If you don't try again, then you're not going to be able to move ahead with your life. You won't be able to experience real success. You need to be brave, and you need to have the courage to believe in yourself even if you feel worthless.
You also need to remember that there is a small chance that you might fail again, and again after that. I know it's scary to put yourself out there; it probably feels
like you'll never win over failure. But you will, I promise! So you can't and shouldn't give up. After all, it's better to have failed that to have never tried at all. Life is all about experiences, both good and bad.
And you're the only one who can decide whether the experience is going to help you or ruin you.
Failure is a suffering that helps you grow.
You can look at failure in your own way. I thought failure meant not getting enough marks or not being well-liked. But I realise now that failure is a forked road and not a dead end. If you decide to keep walking, there's a chance it could lead you to success. If you stay put, however, then you're failing all over again.
So you can either stand on that road, afraid of failure - or you can start on another journey, chasing after success.
Let me know in the comments below: how do you define failure, and how much does it affect you?
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