It's two a.m. as I'm writing this, I'm not at all sleepy, and I feel like I really need to talk about this on the blog. So here goes.
A few days ago, something weird happened in class. I'm not going to give you the details, because it really doesn't matter - honestly, it was just a stupid comment made by one of my stupid classmates. But it made me realise that people really tend to judge each other on the basis of looks - which might seem obvious, but... I'm very naive.
And it's true for everyone. Even me. I tend to judge people A LOT. I tend to stay away from people who wear too much makeup or people who wear low-waist jeans and bathroom slippers, because they just don't seem like my kind of friends.
I wish we didn't do that, but we do. I try to stop myself from judging others like this, but sometimes I can't help it. And I know I can't stop others from judging me, and neither do I want to. It's their life, their opinions. I have no say in what they think of me.
But I have a say in what I think of myself. And at the end of the day, that's the one opinion that truly matters.
I've talked about my past life as a people-pleaser before. I used to think that the only way to be happy was to fit in or to make everyone like me. So I tried to change the way I behaved and looked. It didn't make me happy. It just made me hate myself. And that made me realise that if I had to work so hard to try to make people happy... then I was clearly in the wrong place with the wrong people.
I'm glad that I'm not pretending anymore. I'm finally true to myself. But of course, it means that there will be people who'll think I'm weird or different. And that's okay! Because there will be other people who will think I'm the coolest thing since the internet! That's a hell of a lot of cool, by the way. Because the internet is epic.
After that incident in class happened, I started thinking about why that person would say something like that about me. Was it because I don't wear makeup, or because I wear the same old jeans and sport-shoes to college every day? Or because my hair is frizzy, or because I sit at the front of the class and take down notes? Or because I have a blog where I talk about geekie stuff?
That's when I realised that I'm not willing to change even one of those things about me. I'm not going to start wearing heels or foundation and concealer and eyeliner, because I'm not comfortable in that stuff! And I sure as hell am not going to straighten my hair or drink alcohol or quit reading books so that I come across as 'cool'.
According to me - and the people that matter to me - I am an amazing person. I am beautiful, confident, intelligent, and absolutely hilarious. My blog is solid proof of all these things!
Nobody else's opinion matters. Especially not the opinion of some random classmate who barely even knows my name.
I am not going to let anyone else's opinion dictate my behaviour. I love myself just the way I am, for all my strengths and weakness, for all my quirks and pet peeves.
And that is what matters.
So judge me all you want, creatures of the universe. Because I am AWESOME. And that is that. ^_^